


The rhythm of me beats for you

by OrangeSprout



Category: Mewgulf
Genre: Introspective look, M/M, Music Terms, confusion of Mews love, just listing to too much classical music, mew finding a song for them, music references, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:14:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26965771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrangeSprout/pseuds/OrangeSprout
Summary: Mew thinks about music and Gulf.  A short introspective look at comparing music to relationship.
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Kudos: 35





	The rhythm of me beats for you

**Author's Note:**

> This came about because I've been listening to too much classical music. I don't know very much about musical terms, I'm sorry if I used them wrong, I did try to research to make sure they were right but just in case, sorry.
> 
> Song mentioned in this piece (in order)
> 
> Debussy - Clair de Lune  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkgyOZxIw0k
> 
> Chopin - Etude Op. 25 No. 5 (Wrong Note)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7C2it9cCsY&list=PLFv3ZQw-ZPxju8P84jZ0pQ_zb8GR6eFh6&index=10
> 
> Chopin - Fantaisie-Impromptu (Op. 66)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gus4dnQuiGk
> 
> Ludovico Einaudi - Nuvole Bianche  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VR-6AS0-l4
> 
> Nuvole Bianche is one of my favorite peices.

Mew had always wanted a love that was like the Clair de Lune; soft, delicate, and flowing continuously like it would never end. Love that felt like the everflowing river basking in the moonlight of their love. There were enough bouts of changing chords that kept the song interesting but still, it continued. On and on. 

The first time he heard it, he knew. That was the kind of love he wanted. 

He spent hours learning it and even to this day he's sure he can play it from memory. the lilting upbeat notes that followed the tempo his heart once knew.

He would have never guessed that he would get something closer to Chopins etude op. 25 no. 5, staccato, tension-filled, climbing, and climbing with the ease of uncertainty heavy under his belt. The discrepancy in the tension-filled notes creating the off-putting feeling in his gut. The worried, guilt, anxious, depression rolling over him like thick waves. Crushing him. Suffocating him. Everything he’d done, everything he had wanted, worked for, strives for, lived, and breathed for, crushed like quickly trilling notes before the crushing decrescendo in nothing.

He can still hear his mother's words, the ones she said after he'd cried and whiney, complaining about his song change. How his love had cracked the piano keys of his heart.

_"The melody you hear might be muddled and off-key, strange and jarring. dissonance in the air. But remember that's how life it, constant tension and release until the bittersweet life has taken and given all it can. This moment may be a cacophony of sounds but the next can be the most melody sound you'll ever hear. And you might miss it trying to savor a note that's long gone."_

Even now as he stares at Gulf willing them to become the Clair de lune -though he knows that their melodies will never become that one, he still hangs on to the fermata- he can hear the eerie notes of his next failure in the form of Chopin Fantasie Impromptu and his heart quicks at the thought of hearing something else instead of his beloved Clair de lune.

He worries that he might be the only one interested in what they... have? Whatever it is. He feels his heart is searching for a melody that he isn’t strong enough to grasp. Or that he ventures might not exist. Maybe he's singing just slightly higher than those around him like the whale that sings at 52 hertz constantly alone unable to connect. The loneliest whale. 

Does that make him the loneliest Mew? Sometimes he feels like. Sometimes even as the diminuendo rolls the waves of sadness through his being, He thinks his frequency might be off as well. 

He wants to tune himself to match Gulfs. To harmonize together in something effervescent and melodic.

Gulf stands in his grasp, slightly stiff and waiting. 

“I’m just not used to this attention, to this touch.” He had said many times when Mew asked if he was ok with his touch. “But I don’t mind it.”

It wasn’t comforting that he ‘ _didn’t mind it_ ’. It just was. was something that hung on Mew's heart ringing like a deep bass.

Mew pushed through as he played his role, much like each note in the page connecting together in an arrangement of something worth listening to. He could play the part of ‘partner’ on screen. Sometimes slipping into the off-screen as his heart pleads to get in time with the metronome of Gulf heart.

He learned very quickly that he could get lost in those deep caramel eyes, swirling galaxy of everything and yet nothing at all. 

The emptiness sounded great against the cacophony of misstep notes in his head. He knew Gulf held deep to the rhythm, steady and strong. unwavering unlike Mew who's notes twisted and changed.

But then out of nowhere or maybe he just had been so distracted by his own sheet music he never noticed the change in Gulf; they connected.

Gulf smile would face him, loud and clear. Sparkling with reassurance, confidence, and something that Mew wants to say is affection. He created the dolcissimo notes with his lips. Sweet against his as they spoke softly not answer the question at hand but answer the silence Mew had within his heart after pushing away all the noise.

Tiny ears turned red, cheeks a blush, warm skin just under his touch, enclosing him like a blanket that he never wanted to unwrap from.

The worry he had that Gulf didn’t feel the same disappeared at the small touch to his arm or his leg - Gulf silent acknowledgment that he’s there. The harmony he played by simplicity. The way he wants more touch but doesn’t know how to ask and Mew can feel his every word, though none of them spoken.

The way Gulf stands open and turned slightly towards him, waiting. Waiting for Mew arms around him. 

The way Gulf asks to join him whenever he goes - through most of the time he can’t. 

The way Gulf eyes get teary and soft when Mew gets emotional and he speaks in delicate tones to soothe his phi.

The way the notes fluttering around him until waiting for Mew to be ready so that they can become a whole piece.

Mew had been worried that Gulf didn’t feel the same because he had been looking in all the wrong places. Looking at it the wrong way. Searching for a melody that they would never, could never be.

He had been looking for Clair du lune when all along they were Nuvole Bianche. _White cloud_. 

A piece so simple yet elegant. A piece that washes over you with tranquility, calmness, and lets you feel like your floating.

A piece that is Gulf incarnate. Something that has trickles of Mew sprinkled in with the delicate notes trilling softly together in something that could only be described as harmony allowing for the ebb and flow of their relationship through the cords until the climax when instead of burning out or ending, _it begins again_. 

Mew thinks he likes this better. This airy light tone fits the lilting of his heart. Fits the way Gulf smiles at him. The way Gulf kisses him. The way Gulf talks. Needs. Feels.

The Gulf makes him feel.

He had unknowingly been searching for a song that was perfect for him but what he really needed was a song that was perfect for _them_. 

**Author's Note:**

> Terms used that you might not know (Glossary)
> 
> Decrescendo - decreasing in loudness
> 
> Dolcissimo - Used as a direction in music, meaning “sweetly, softly, with tender emotion”
> 
> Fermata - A symbol that allows a note or rest to be held for as long as desired


End file.
